Ep #19: 5 Struggles of a CEO – Status Over Results

In this final episode of the “5 Struggles of a CEO” series, Dr. Nick & Dr. Nicole discuss achieving status as a leader of achieving results in the business. Dr. Nick explains the upper and lower ego and provides a case study of how playing into the lower ego can affect your business and personal life. Dr. Nicole shares her own personal story of how her position at Integrative Wellness Group has shifted as she paid attention to driving results. 

“As soon as we focus on making money, our service decreases. As soon as our focus is on service, guess what? We start making more money.” - Dr. Nick

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Resources:

Noteworthy Time Stamps:

4:01 Sports analogy

8:10 Ego as status-driven

10:22 Solution-oriented

11:50 Evolving personally with your business

12:54 Dr. Nicole’s personal example in IWG

14:40 Dr. Nick case study example



LISTEN TO THE FULL EPISODE

Dr. Nicole:

This is the Integrative Entrepreneur Podcast, where it’s not what you do, but how you do it. This is a podcast for entrepreneurs brought to you by entrepreneurs. We have been building a multi-million dollar healthcare business for over 10 years, and we have weaved together some of the best information for the people that are doing the best work in the business. This includes Dr. Demartini, who is a master in human behavior to Verne Harnish, who has created the methodologies of scaling up that has scaled many, many of the best businesses that we all know of. We want you to not only have a business that you love, but also a life that you love.

All right everyone, so we are at part five of the Five Struggles of a CEO and Entrepreneur. So today we’re talking all about choosing status over results. And some of you might not know what we’re talking about by saying that. But when we work our way up the ladder, especially when we have years in the game and we set out to reach certain benchmarks in our business, or we’re in the corporate model and we set out to get that position as the CEO of a giant company, is that we work our way towards those goals, we work our way towards those positions and we kind of feel like, “Okay. Well, what’s next?” And at that point in time, sometimes we find ourselves making decisions that are really focused more on our own personal status opposed to the results of the company.

And this is something that we’re not always super aware of, we’re not always consciously thinking about it because we think that we’re doing the best that we can, we’re in the grind of doing the same things we’ve always done. We’re having the meetings, we’re doing the retreats, we’re mapping out the financials, we’re looking at the budgets, we’re talking marketing strategy, and we’re laying out the goals, did we meet the goals, did we not meet the goals? What are the goals for next quarter? So on and so forth. And in the beginning, when there’s more skin in the game is we have more focus on those results and we have more focus as to why we didn’t achieve certain results, and how are we going to pivot to make sure we’re continually moving towards those bigger goals and benchmarks?

And once we reach a level of “success”, which I’m sure Nick will talk all about, his feelings about the word success. But once we reach that benchmark of “success” of what was the big, hairy, audacious goal that we had five years in 10 years in, that sometimes we can take a pause, which is not always a bad thing, take a pause and reset but we don’t always have as much skin in the game when it comes to the results. And if we’re backsliding, you might have more capital or more cushion to handle it, and it doesn’t sting as much as it did in the beginning. So these are things that you could easily be small and trickle into something bigger, which then creates this massive fall of accompany that gained all of this success.

Dr. Nick:

Yeah. I mean, when you look at status and results, it can happen in different phases of a business as well as a person’s life. One of the things that… I mean, I think most people can relate to in the world of sports is being able to see that there’s these young athletes that are all stars, they get into the professional arena, and when they stop doing their day in training actions, working in the fundamentals, going through the biomechanics, everything like that, and they start putting more energy onto what social media like, can I be filmed on this, being put in certain movies as an extra, it goes towards status. And when that happens, it’s really energy flows where attention goes. So if their attention stops going actually on their work to make them a better athlete and their energy goes onto more status, the results are going to decrease. And they can have maybe some short-term fame, but then that’s going to be ripped from them because they stopped getting results and nobody likes somebody that doesn’t perform.

Same thing in work. So it’s like you can have somebody that’s worked their ass off up to finally become an executive in the corporate realm in one form or another. But if that’s their level of success, kind of what Nicole was talking about earlier, then that’s the be all end all, they’re not working their off for results anymore. That’s not their main focus, their main focus is, “Look at my title, look at my status, I’m an executive, I wear the power suit, I’m the big head honcho here.” And anytime that we’re focused on that, the results are going to decrease. It’s kind of like, as soon as we focus on making money, our service decreases. As soon as our focus is on service, guess what? We start making more money. So this is the exact same concept of where’s the attention, where’s the energy going? Is it on service, is it on results, or is it on money, is it on status? And status and money is just me fact. Everything is cause and effect in this world, and if you start working on effects, we’re going to start going backwards in life. But if we want to propel forwards, we need to work on service and we want to focus on results.

Dr. Nicole:

Yeah. And I think this even goes back to the previous episode that we did when you were talking about influencer versus leader, because I’m even thinking about different students that have come through the Growth Institute and we’ve talked about them getting distracted due to opportunities that came their way. And obviously we want to capitalize on different opportunities, especially if these opportunities allow us to really embrace our zone of genius. If those are speaking engagements, if those are teaching opportunities, if they’re a podcast collaborations, so on and so forth. But you could easily get distracted from this idea of now being in a position that you are doing these collaborations and now you’re less focused on the actual results of your company. And this, again, trickles into, now there’s this taste of acknowledgement or this taste of “popularity” which then can fuel the ego. And then it starts to really retract us from the mission as well as the bigger picture of why we created the company in the first place. And that overall, it can sound small or even if it’s like, oh, okay, well short-lived, no big deal, it definitely can slowly ripple into something bigger.

Dr. Nick:

Yeah. The lower ego is a dangerous, dangerous entity. And when I say ego, we have an upper ego and a lower ego. I’m not going to go too deep into it, but your upper ego is literally like your I, your being, your soul, your divinity, the truth, the love. And your lower ego is really, you could easily put it, it’s installed injected values of society, of other people, of what deemed supposed to be important in life but literally it has no weight, no bearing and making a quality driven life. So a lot of times when you look at this, we can get a taste of this popularity aspect kind of going back, and it drives our ego into a way that we want to be status driven. And as soon as you start seeing an individual growing separately from the business, you know that there’s going to be issues.

And it can be easy to see, especially it’s like, one of the things doing if I’m investing in any other companies, it’s be able to look at those big players and making sure that their status quo is an alignment with the results of the business. Because anytime that leadership is growing separately from the business you know that their focus is on status and not results and there’s going to be lag time, like with anything in life, but those results are going to start decreasing and the business is going to really start failing and contracting. I think Nicole is like, “Whoa, wasn’t ready for that one.”

Dr. Nicole:

No, I 100% agree. I definitely think that this is something that not probably every entrepreneur can relate to because it comes with time. And there are times in your business that you find yourself just getting more distracted from almost like the bright, shiny object. And then all of a sudden you notice that you get back into the business and you’re putting out fires. You have the disgruntled employee or your customer is unhappy or you just had a process, three refunds, and things like that. And you’re not always putting two and two together, but it’s almost like… And I think that you can even speak more to it because of the different shifts from the ego, but it’s also you can easily lack the gratitude of even what you’ve built within the company. And as soon as you start to have less of that gratitude and also the distraction, it’s not overly in your face, but you just start noticing that there’s more and more fires that are being put out.

Dr. Nick:

Oh, 100%. So it’s like when you look at status versus results, the reason we get results is because we’re solution-oriented. And when we’re going after status and there’s problems every single day, but it’s like when we’re moving the needle forward, we’re looking at those issues and we’re looking at it through a way of what’s the best solution to grow and evolve. But however, when we’re status focused and there’s a problem where like, “Jesus, again? There’s a problem that’s taking literally this light off of me what is the deal?” And we’re focused on the problem and we’re not even thinking about a possible solution because we’re just pissed off because it’s taken the light, the shining off of us. So that’s just going to allow more and more fires to create because we need that feedback mechanism, if that is the process, to be able to create us enough pain so we can open our eyes to start making better quality decisions, focusing back on results, back on solutions.

Dr. Nicole:

And one thing I will say, for those of you that are thinking about this, and you’re thinking about the idea that maybe your priorities or your passions have shifted. That’s okay. I was talking to a coach the other day and she was saying that she was working through identity things and she’s like, “We don’t talk about this in the coaching world.” And I was kind of thinking in my mind, I’m like, “Isn’t that exactly what you should be talking about in the coaching world?” Because when you’re in business…

Dr. Nick:

Business coaching.

Dr. Nicole:

What was that?

Dr. Nick:

A business coach?

Dr. Nicole:

Yes.

Dr. Nick:

Okay. At first, I thought you were talking about my personal coach.

Dr. Nicole:

No, a business coach. So we move through business, we obviously learn so much and we evolve and change as people. And so it’s really a matter of discerning is there behaviors that are happening that are fueling the ego or that are really all about personal status or is it really just the fact that you’re getting lit up by different things, and it might be time to delegate certain things that you’ve been doing to someone that is more passionate than you are at this moment. So that’s something that you really need to discern when you’re thinking about this because sometimes you are “distracting yourself” and you have that inattention to results. And it’s because you’ve lost your passion behind certain things that you’ve been doing, and you really want to focus on some other element of the business to continue to move it forward.

This was something that personally happened to me in our integrative medicine business is that I was not as passionate as working, or I would should say, operating certain things when it came to the clinical aspect of the business, I found myself very, very driven by helping to cultivate better clinicians and to consult them so that they could be the best of the best practitioners out there, and also to then create and lead the executive team in order to have a business that impacts thousands and eventually millions.

So this was something that I found myself so passionate about, and I remember feeling very guilty around the fact that I didn’t want to work as much in the clinical space. But then I also found that there were behaviors that were happening that was really removing me from the attention of results of, “Okay, well maybe this person wasn’t a good fit and that’s why they didn’t move forward.” And it was really just what I was telling myself because I didn’t want to be accountable to those results because my full attention wasn’t there.

Dr. Nick:

Oh 100%. And I guess that kind of brought up a past… I’m not going to go too much detail because of HIPAA, but one of the past executives that I’ve worked with, so a good story behind status and results, and this is something you really want to pay attention to because a lot of what we’ve talked about has been consciousness, and this was an unconscious action going towards status and going away from results. Because when we think about human behaviors, we all make every decision based on seen or unconsciously seen more benefits than drawbacks. So this one specific and individual, not going to say male or female, because I don’t want to really put piece of this puzzle together. But this one individual was having family issues at home. And really the only time that they really felt that they were built up was as their leadership in business.

So they go home, all challenged, go to work, had more of that support. And really because of that big difference, they started pretty much pushing themselves away from their family and focusing more on the status unconsciously because they felt actually being seen, they felt being loved while at work. And that really unfortunately drove them to increase to want more of that at work. So that really drove them away from the results aspect of the leadership that they started out why they were being loved in that first place in that work environment and not at home. And it was really once we got to the foundation of the… We went through and got crystal clear on their values to see what was most important to them and saw why they weren’t really achieving love at home is because they hadn’t seen that their values were really being acknowledged at home but their values were being acknowledged at work.

And when we see our values really being acknowledged, that is our love language, that’s how we actually interpret love, that’s how we feel love. So they were being filled up with love at work, but as soon as they got home, it was a huge imbalance. So as soon as we actually could help really see what, the wife was doing, I guess I told that it was male. I knew it was going to say that. So as soon as I saw that the wife was helping and the wife and the kids and how they were actually serving his values, we changed perception. And as soon as the perception changed, we changed the belief system. So we changed the belief system that actually his family was serving him, was actually building him up, was loving him, but he just couldn’t see it in that moment.

So as soon as we went through and actually switched his belief system and showed that his beliefs were being served, that his values were being served, then he wasn’t so searching for that status, for that love at work, and he was able to go back and focus on solutions and focus on results. And luckily we did that in a very short period of time. This is why I love doing the Demartini method because it is a specific set of questions to be able to get down to that nitty gritty cause. Because so many times we would be focusing on the effects there, which is just going to compound the shit and the worse it gets, the worse it gets.

So as soon as we can get clarity on the cause of what’s creating that imbalance change the belief system, the driver of the creator from it, then we can go through and actually have a sustainable format to move forward, get back on focusing on solutions and growing the business as well as, back in reverse, growing the home life too. So we ended up, he was almost getting into a lose-lose relationship if he went to continue that direction because he would have lost the love of the work environment as well because he was decreasing his producibility. So we flipped and switched to the mindset to see how everything was on the way instead of in the way. And through that process, he gained love at work as well as love at home.

Dr. Nicole:

Well, I think that this is a awesome way to wrap up because this is just showcasing that sometimes when we’re talking about this status and how it can really become part of affecting our business because we’re focused more on the status, we’re maybe getting trapped by the ego and it’s taking away from the results in the business is that sometimes this is, first of all trickling into our home life, or this is trickling into our work life in the sense that it’s negatively impacting our executive teams or even beyond that. So when you’re working with a mentor or a coach is being able to acknowledge both, because we all know that business affects our personal lives, it affects us as a human being, and it also affects how we show up in our relationships. And very often, if things are going well in business, you might have things going well at home and as soon as that shifts, you’re bringing that home.

And maybe it’s because you’re working late and your spouse doesn’t understand or it’s because you’re just not in a great mood or you feel the stress of the world but you don’t want to talk about it with your spouse because you’re like they can’t understand because they’re not an entrepreneur or they’re not a business owner or they’re not an executive. So it’s really important to understand both and that’s something that we really value in what we’re bringing in the Growth Institute is that number one, there is easily things that come from past programming that are lingering in the back and affecting how we show up every day for our business, for our families, for our relationships, for our employees. And then we also have to consider if things are not working well at work, what are the solutions to and the methodologies to really repair that. And then if it has now trickled into home life, how do you repair that and…

Dr. Nick:

And it can be vice versa. It could be the home life that’s carrying into work life.

Dr. Nicole:

100%. But the point is that they affect each other, it’s inevitable. And knowing that, the Growth Institute is a platform that is giving you tools for both because they don’t exist separately, they very much coexist. And very often, you’re going to see patterns and cycles, the same things that are happening at work are happening in a different form at home. And this is really the biggest struggle as a CEO and an entrepreneur is that you want to be able to escape, you want to be able to have that safe place. And if work is coming home or home is coming to work, it’s like you can’t escape it. And it’s very, very overwhelming and being an entrepreneur is isolating in itself because not many people can relate to the struggles that we deal with.

Very often is when we are looking for that advice or that mentorship from others, they are not giving good advice because it’s coming from either a bias place or a place of not understanding. So Dr. Nick, myself, as well as all of the Growth Institute coaches, we’re really trying to bridge that gap to look at all of the different pieces of the puzzle and give you true proven methodologies to use in your business to build a business that’s really built on trust and it’s built on vulnerability and it’s built on an amazing foundation which then allows you to obviously have the success that you hope for and have the financial stability but then also to be able to create more balance in your work life so that you are able to enjoy your personal life and that it’s not always work, work, work, work, work. So this is really, really something we pride ourselves on, and it’s partly because we feel like for almost 10 years, all it was for us was business.

Dr. Nick:

And that was the struggle.

Dr. Nicole:

Yeah, and I always like joke, but very serious at the same time, that if I wasn’t married to my business partner, I would a 100% be divorced because if I had a partner that wasn’t in business with me, they could have just never understood why I worked the hours that I did, why I had the worries that I did. So we were in it together, which was great, but we were able to come together and say, “This is not what it’s supposed to be. We’re pretty much in a toxic relationship with our business, number one. And number two is we created a job for ourselves, we’re calling ourselves business owners but we are not business owners. The business owns us, if anything.

Dr. Nick:

Yep. And that back then looking at it, that created a lot of distress in our own personal life. So it’s like when business sucks, your personal life sucks. And literally, it’s you, because then it’s just a reflection of you and we need to understand that it’s nothing more. So when things suck, we can use that to look internally and see what needs to be, honestly sounds woo, but loved. What needs to be dealt with, what needs to be fixed, what needs to be balanced, brought back into harmony, so we can actually use it to serve ourselves and stop being a victim to our history,

Dr. Nicole:

100%. Well guys, this wraps up our number five of the five episodes here for the Five Struggles of a CEO and Entrepreneur. So we are going to be rolling out amazing podcasts as we continue along, all real life things, entrepreneur to entrepreneur. So check us out on our next episode.

Dr. Nick:

You’ve reached the end of another episode of the Integrative Entrepreneur Podcast. Connect with us at integrativegrowthinstitute.com. Don’t forget to sign up to our newsletter to receive our free materials. See you at the next episode.

Dr. Nicole:

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